Why I Chose to Holiday with My Ex (and What It Took to Get There)

Why would someone choose to go on holiday with their ex?

Good question.

And I have all the answers.

As that someone is me.

My daughters are six and seven… full of curiosity, excitement, questions.

I’m 40…full of nerves, hopes and a very human desire to not regret the experience.

Because this wasn’t just a family holiday. It was a test - not of our relationship, but of our growth. Of how far we’ve come since separating. Of what we’re capable of, for the sake of our kids.

And yes, it came with risks:

• There could’ve been conflict.

• We might’ve clashed.

• It might’ve felt awkward, painful, or just... odd.

• Hearing others’ unwanted negative views.

But this is what emotional maturity looks like in real life; unconventional, courageous choices in service of something bigger than ego.

In this case: our daughters’ experience of family.

So we went.

And before we left, I reminded myself of the same principles I work on with clients:

• Emotional regulation over reaction

• Boundaries over blame

• Clarity over chaos

• Role modelling over rescuing

Because these aren’t just coaching concepts. They’re life tools. They’re how we make good decisions when things feel complicated. They’re how we show up for ourselves and others.

I don’t know about you, but my version of growth doesn’t always look shiny and confident.

• Sometimes it looks like biting your tongue in the airport while your kids dance around in excitement.

• Sometimes it looks like quietly reining in your defensiveness when something triggers you.

• Sometimes it looks like trusting yourself to get through it with grace, even if it’s uncomfortable.

That’s the kind of strength I want my girls to see.

Not perfection.

Not people-pleasing.

Just honest, emotionally attuned leadership - the kind that starts from the inside out.

We’re back now. And I’ll write more about how it actually went next week.

But for now, I’m prioritising being present with my girls. Summer holidays are real and so is the overwhelm!

So this blog, like many things right now, isn’t polished. It’s a window into my real life the one I live alongside the one I coach others through.

And if you’re navigating co-parenting, big feelings, or bold decisions of your own this summer, just know: You don’t have to do it perfectly. But you can do it powerfully.