Embracing 40: Why Every Decade Gets Better

At forty, I've realised something powerful: every life story can be told two ways.

The same events - the victories, the setbacks, the unexpected turns - can shape entirely different narratives. I could tell you about missed opportunities and what-ifs, or about growth and gratitude. Both would be true. But consciously choosing to find meaning and possibility, while still acknowledging life's challenges, has led me to a place of genuine contentment as I enter my fifth decade.

As a mother of two wonderful children (6 and 7), I've noticed an interesting parallel between parenting stages and my own life journey. While many parents dread each new phase, I've found that both parenting and personal growth follow a similar pattern: things tend to get easier and more rewarding with time. The newborn stage had me hallucinating with tiredness; the crawling phase meant constant vigilance, but now? These school-age years bring a different kind of joy –conversations about feelings, dancing in the kitchen, watching a film to the end and witnessing two bright sparks growing in their independence.

Life has followed a similar trajectory. My childhood was marked by my parents' separation, and my teenage years were consumed by academic anxiety (oh, how I wish I could tell my younger self that those GCSE and A-Level grades wouldn't define my entire existence!).

My twenties were a colourful mix of experiences - university life, independence, travel, and first jobs. But they also came with their share of struggles: excessive drinking, rock-bottom self-esteem, a sexual assault, grandparents dying and an exhausting need to please everyone around me. These experiences, though painful, laid the foundation for my work as a life coach, helping others navigate their own challenges.

My thirties brought both incredible highs and profound lows. Career advancement, property ownership, and the birth of my two beautiful children were balanced against the heart-wrenching experience of miscarriage, struggles with body image, and the challenge of becoming a single mother to two under two. Each experience taught me something valuable about resilience and self-worth.

Now, standing at the threshold of 40, I feel a familiar optimism rising. Not because I expect everything to be perfect, but because I've learned that it's the "negative splatters" - as I like to call them - that make the picture of our lives more interesting and authentic. Each challenge has been a building block in creating the resilient, capable woman I am today.

Looking ahead to the next decade, I'm excited not despite my past experiences, but because of them. Every struggle has added another layer of wisdom, every joy has deepened my capacity for gratitude, and every decade has brought me closer to understanding who I truly am.

• When you look back at your own story, what version do you tend to tell yourself?

• Are you carrying old narratives that no longer serve you?

• Perhaps it's worth asking: How would reframing past challenges as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks change your perspective?

• What strengths have your difficulties helped you develop?

• And most importantly - while honouring the reality of your struggles - how might choosing to focus on growth and resilience change the next chapter of your story?

So here's to 40 - another chapter in a story that keeps getting richer and more meaningful!