The Hardest Goodbye: A Life Coach's Journey Through Personal Grief

Last Friday at 1:30am, my world stopped.

My mum died suddenly, which left me—a professional life coach who helps others navigate their challenges—standing at the beginning of my own uncharted path of grief.

In my consultations, I always ask prospective clients what they would need to accomplish in their lifetime to know that their life had been satisfying and well-lived. It comes from reading books and hearing podcasts about what people tend to feel when they are on their deathbeds.

When I think about my Mum and what she would have wanted, she would have loved the fact that her two children and partner were by her bedside in her last moments.

Speaking only for myself, watching her die was so surreal.

Just like giving birth, nothing can prepare you.

You just have to go through it.

I'm glad she can't feel pain anymore.

I don't know what life will be without her and I know, five days in, that I'm only at the start of the journey.

To anyone who has lost a parent, my heart goes out to you.

What I am doing to help myself in these hard moments:

• Eating well (making sensible choices, but equally not beating myself up when the biscuits come out!)

• Trying to stay hydrated (but struggling)

• Walking and getting fresh air when I can (as my exercise routine is out of the window)

• Being kind to others (always stopping to let people cross the road when I am driving, smiling at strangers – the impact is immeasurable)

• Looking for the positives and practising gratitude (she died, but she is not in pain. I am sad, but I have amazing daughters, a supportive ex-partner, and good people around me)

• Open and frank discussions with my children – what helps them also helps me

• Setting boundaries - declining invitations guilt free

• Being kind to myself – knowing that I am not as present/physically available with the children at the moment, knowing that now is not the time for 5am starts, and all of that is okay

I've reflected on what this experience may mean for my life going forward. I have wondered if I will do anything differently. I know that death of a loved one often shakes people into re-thinking their life, their goals, whether they are living their dreams.

For me, my current mental strength is allowing me to be in the best possible position to deal with this. I am doing the job I love. I love my home and children. I've already sought a fellow coach to support me weekly over the next few months to ensure all the plates keep spinning.

However, I am always open to book, podcast or any other suggestions to further support me at this time. Please reach out if you have any resources, tips or strategies which may make this overwhelming, emotional and lengthy process as kind to me as possible.