So, I Went on Holiday with My Ex… and It Was Brilliant

You don’t need to be “together” to work brilliantly together.

Last week, I wrote about the decision to go on holiday with my ex. This week, I get to tell you how it went.

And honestly? It was better than I could have imagined.

Let’s start with the wins.

Our daughters (aged six and seven) thrived. They always had someone to talk to, someone to play with, someone to watch them in the sea or cheer them on while they danced. We didn’t just co-parent; we tri-parented: my ex, my long-time friend Dave, and me.

That 3:2 adult-child ratio? Magic.

When one of us needed space, someone else stepped up.

When one child needed the loo mid-lunch, there was no panic.

When my ex wanted to skip the beach on the last day, no problem - Dave and I took the girls.

No arguments.

No resentment.

Just shared roles and shared responsibility.

We naturally divided and conquered:

🏖 I took the kids back to shower and set the table.

🛒 My ex and Dave went shopping, brought back food, and prepped it.

🍽 Then we all sat and ate together.

No stress. No sulking. Just rhythm. Ease. Presence.

And at night? I was more than happy to stay in after bedtime, video calling my boyfriend back in England while the other two went out to watch football. Everyone got their needs met.

The kids got to witness something quietly powerful: Their mum and dad, happy. Together — but not together. Showing a version of family that doesn’t follow the usual script, but works. Role modelling the truth that there are many ways to live well.

Other unexpected wins:

• No screens. Not once. And no one asked.

• The girls barely argued; they were too busy being held, heard, seen.

• One daughter swapped bedrooms each night — because she could. Small things matter.

There were, of course, some challenges.

My ex prefers “holiday mode.”

I prefer rhythm and structure - especially for kids.

Years ago, this would’ve caused a quiet cold war between us. But this time, we talked. Properly.

He asked me what my ideal scenario looked like. I told him truthfully. Then I asked him. And he told me his. We listened to each other. No defences, no pretending, no performing.

The result? A plan that suited both of us and the children.

That kind of conversation wouldn’t have happened in our relationship years ago. But it happened now - outside of that dynamic, and with a lot more self-awareness on both sides.

Here’s the bit I haven’t said aloud (yet):

All things being equal, I think I would do it again.

Just the five of us. Not the four. That wouldn’t work. But this setup? With Dave? It really did.

Because no, we’re not together. But together, we created something steady, joyful, and loving for our daughters. And I think that counts for a lot.