“I’m Not Sure” is Sometimes the Best Answer

I can be very black and white which has been both a blessing and a curse; I’m direct and I get to the point, but for years I lacked the ability to sit in the grey when it came to my own life.

Training as a teacher, and later as a coach, taught me to look deeper into the grey: the different ways to approach maths challenges, parenting or school life. And now the different perspectives my clients bring.

Last week, I realised I was living in that grey in a way that actually worked for me. I hadn’t noticed it until I reflected afterwards.

My boyfriend and I were invited out by a friend. From the start, I said I wasn’t sure. Things had been tense in my personal life, and I didn’t know how I’d feel leaving the kids on Saturday. I didn’t want to commit to a yes or a no.

Saturday came, and although it was better than expected, I still had a lot on my mind.

Did I want to talk about what was going on for me?

Did I want a night off from it all?

I didn’t know.

So my answer stayed the same: I’m not sure.

And then… at 9pm, after two orgasms, we decided, “let’s go out!”

And guess what?

It was such a fun night.

I did not stop dancing.

Met loads of interesting people.

Connected with friends.

Arranged a lunch date for the week ahead.

Sometimes, “I’m not sure” isn’t indecisive; it’s giving yourself space.

And sometimes that space leads you exactly where you need to be.