Choosing Not to Be a Victim

On the walk home from the school run this morning, I had a rare moment of quiet. No noise, no distractions. And the thought that came to me was simple but powerful:

“Well done. You’re not being a victim.”

Life has been really hard lately. Not just for me, but for my girls too. Some of the challenges have the potential to sting them as much as me, and that hurts in a different way.

Last night, I spotted an accounting blip that’s left me short.

At 4am, my eldest woke from a bad dream and climbed into my bed, which meant broken sleep.

At 6:30am, I tried to do a workout... but my youngest came downstairs early, cutting it short.

All small annoyances. But still, they stack up.

And yet, I’m determined not to let them define me.

I’m not chasing “perfect”. That illusion only brings more pressure and more problems.

I’m choosing instead to keep striving: for better, for peace, for progress.

• In a coaching session yesterday, the topic of sexual abuse came up and I shared a snippet of my story. My client felt sad for me, but I reassured her: I am genuinely okay.

• I think about my mum, who died in April. No one asks me about it anymore, which feels strange. But if they did, my honest answer would still be: I’m okay.

• And then there’s my ex. Our relationship is tough right now. But, I am okay!

From all this, I could easily dive into victim mode: poor me, life is hard, why me?

But that wouldn’t serve me.

It wouldn’t serve my daughters.

And it definitely wouldn’t make me a better coach, woman, or human.

So instead, I choose action.

✓ Late last night I moved money around and refused to let the loss of child maintenance drag me down.

✓ This morning I worked out, even with broken sleep.

✓ I walked while my girls cycled to school, even though the rain was forecast.

Because life is for living.

And no matter the hurdles, I’m going to keep showing up.

For me. For them. For the life I’m building.